It appears that the city in which I live is balancing the budget on the back of its hurried citizens.

It started a few months ago when road construction began...well, not the actual construction, but the cones and warning flags for the actual construction. A new and improved speed limit had been set 10 mph lower than the original with minimal new and improved signs. The way I figured it out was through watching the plight of fellow citizens pulled over with lights flashing in between the cones of impending construction.

I am quick like that.

Since that time the actual construction has arrived and along with it a fleet of enforcement. I feel lucky to drive the road frequently because I now expect dark colored police vehicles with low rise lights tucked away in every driveway, tree cove and blind corner.

I pity our town's unsuspecting visitors.

To give you an idea as to the density of which I speak, I counted 7 law enforcement vehicles in the 3.5 mile stretch of this road between town and my house.

Wow! That is an impressive ratio of public to public safety - especially considering that the city planners have dictated that lot size in this portion of town exceed 2 acres per house. I dare say that the resident population is now rivaled by the law enforcement population.

Obviously, I have slowed down. Not that I ever am INTENTIONALLY non-law abiding, I just get bored driving slow. I am happy to report that my law abidingness has kept me speeding ticketless for nearly 3 years.

Impressive.

Yesterday when I drove Ryan to school I noticed a police cruiser parked in a new location. An area where there is no construction, in fact he was at least a mile from the heavily patrolled construction zone.

Was he lost?

It didn't look like it. It looked deliberate and clever. His black car was disguised in the shadows of a forest on a quiet corner.

The road should go straight here, but it appears years ago someone built a house and then they built the road around it. I drive this way multiple times a day, multiple times a week. All that practice has allowed to me to negotiate the corner without harm.

Repeatedly.

I passed the cruiser and then made a mental note that in 5 minutes on my return trip I would abide by the speed limit.

Which I did.

All 15 mph of it.

The speed warning zone starts 100s, maybe 1000s of yards prior to the actual corner.

It took every ounce of my self control to actually drive under 15 mph for the ENTIRE corner as witnessed by the my city's best.

At first it felt like I was walking.

And then I felt like I was stalled.

And then I actually had the sensation of backward movement.

While rounding the slow motion corner I had time to think...

I thought and thought and thought.

And then it occurred to me. In the history of that corner it is very probable that no car has ever made it completely around within the letter of the law.

I am the first.

I really should get some sort of prize.

A medal.

Or parade.

And then I wondered why would they set a speed limit SO LOW that it is impossible to follow?

Did I mention the city budget issues?

Crap, they probably won't have any money left over for my parade...

16 comments:

WeaselMomma said...

At least you are getting some free weight training in while constantly lifting your lead foot up. Your right leg should look great!

Tom said...

I could take some lessons here. My problem seems to be running through "traffic control devices". Oregon is doing an excellent job meeting its budget by catching us ne'er-do-wells as we brazenly glide past stop signs and thumb our noses at yellow lights (which the arresting officer will upgrade to red on your ticket as a bonus).

Good on you for keeping it under control. My advice would be to invest in a jet-pack and avoid the roads altogether.

zelzee said...

After they pay for the 7,254 cones, new speed limit signs, road construction ahead signs, hundreds of police officer salaries (with benefits)...........there will not be enough funds in the budget to actually repair the road........

Writer Dad said...

I would like totally give you a blue ribbon or a gold medal or something if I were in driving distance.

Manic Mommy said...

I wonder if the increased ticket revenue at least pays for the cost of additional patrols. Strange chicken/egg quandry.

Drive slowly; no one's giving out warnings anymore.

Otter Thomas said...

I get bored driving slow too or at least that will be my excuse from now on.

J said...

One time I coasted an entire 2 blocks at 20 mph through a school zone and never had to use the gas pedal once. That is how SLOW 20 mph is!!!

Deborah at Coco Bonbons said...

You definitely get a gold star, if nothing else! I love how there are also so many more speed traps set up at the end of each month so they can meet their budget. Ever notice that?

On a limb with Claudia said...

I have only this to say....


ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

God, Miss Holly, you always crack me up.

Happy Campers said...

HA! Jeff JUST got a ticket yesterday on this exact road for going over the speed limit...and he told them it was the last day of the month & they must be short on their budget! :)

Madge said...

i would totally give you a parade. if i were mayor. or police chief. or just within driving distance.

Nap Warden said...

When is the parade? Will there be balloons and streamers? Should I come take pictures;)

Threeundertwo said...

I don't think my car even goes that slow. I bow to your self-control.

Roger said...

Speed limits? What are those?

See, speed limits are like smoking - they know people are going to break speed limits, just like they know people will continue to smoke. Imagine what would happen to our poor little governmental types, if we all just quit speeding, or quit smoking? They would either a)go bankrupt; b)figure out how to use what money they get from taxation; or c) find another way to start taxing us, like say the air that we breathe, because it is cleaner now that everyone has quit smoking and driving at inappropriate(says they) speeds - so it must.be.taxed.

Yes, I did just get my new property tax bill, why do you ask? :)

Beth said...

What a ticket trap! Are they planning to build any great buildings with their new source of revenue?

This totally sounds like half the small towns in Georgia. A sad situation.

And by the way, I would totally give you a parade!

Em said...

I hope you weren't talking on the cell phone at the time :-) Don't worry, the future of the parade is cool, Hubs lead foot just cost us $298 last month.

You're welcome.

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