5:42 AM

Bug juice



I may have mentioned that I am raising very sensitive sons.

And by sensitive I mean overly-reactive.

They are sensitive about the dark, being alone, vegetables, anything they don't want to do and bugs.

BUGS pretty much tops the list - the super-frightening, extraordinarily-horrifying, death-defying list.

I am not a big spider fan so I understand that, but the anguish over ants, flies, moths, beetles, June bugs and roly-polies (yes, even cute little roly polies) I just don't get.

And then there is the bug of DEATH...

The bee.

Alias hornet or wasp (please don't get technical here, I know they are different, but the boys lump all the bee-like bugs into the bee category).

Note: None of my boys have ever been stung by a bee, hornet or wasp. To my knowledge they are not allergic to any of these stings so quite honestly they are over-reacting just a tad.

For instance, on the way home from school the other day I saw this gorgeous field of wild flowers. I stopped the minivan on the side of the road and left the field-side door open so I could keep track of the boy that was with me as I grabbed my camera and headed the 15 steps to the flowers.



I got about three shots in before the SCREAM OF DEATH coming from the minivan interrupted my floral photography session.

Crap.

I ran to the van to a panicked child who informed me that a BEE the size of TEXAS had invaded the minivan. I searched high and low for this horrifying species of bee so large that it induced shrieks heard all the way in Oklahoma.

I searched.

and searched.

and searched again.

No bee. I did find a fly...a very freaked out little fly.

Poor fly.

So when we got home I pulled out the Big Book of Insects for a little remedial bee identification training. While reading the Big Book of Insects it became clear that this is not the best book to read to children afraid of bugs. The Big Book of Insects talks about all sorts of rare creepy bugs. The Big Book of Insects shows pictures taken under magnification of bugs that are crawling everywhere on everyone at all times.

Which might explain why I have been answering incessant questions about bugs that are crawling everywhere on everyone at all times since that little lesson.

Sometimes knowledge is NOT a good thing.

Knowledge about super weird creepy bugs may not be good, but knowledge about how they react to the bugs might not be bad...

Yesterday Ryan(8) came to me with a brilliant plan.
Ryan: Mom, I have an idea.
Me: OK.
Ryan: I think I can win a gold medal in running.
Me: Really?
Ryan: Yes, what I need you to do is as soon as they start the race you need to put a bee behind my back. I can run over 20 mph if I am running from a bee...

And that my friends is how you make bug lemonade from bug lemons.

24 comments:

hip chick said...

The trick is to get him something that will distract him...like candy...while you are photographing the beautiful (really) field. Of course, the sugar may attract bee's...or ants or other types of bugs.

Angie Ledbetter said...

That's one smart boy! :)

T with Honey said...

He may be a bit paranoid but at least he's very creative.

CaJoh said...

I think it's the buzzing that startles me the most. I do not think that I was ever stung by a bee, but I do recall walking home and saw one trying to sting me through my thick coat. Whacked it good, then ran like crazy.

WeaselMomma said...

Being open and honest with your kids is over-rated.
My Eldest was petrified in this manner by flies. I know the shrieks you talk about. Every time one came into the kitchen my ears bled. Then my lightbulb went off during a freak out session, "No honey, don't be scared. He's your new pet. His name is Frankie. Frankie the Fly and he is all for you." "Wow. You got me a pet????!!!!!!! I love him".
13 years later Frankie is still our pet and visits every summer.

~Jamie said...

My daughter is crazy insane freaked out about bugs... my mom actually got her a big vacuum just so she wouldn't flip every time she saw one. It totally works.

As a side note... I was actually on the Disney Channel's reality show Bug Juice. :) shhhh....

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

He would have thought my son was crazy. He would be right. Danger Boy used to catch bees in the neighbor's iceplant using ziploc bags. Why yes, he was stung several times. Why yes, he continued to do it. Another item in the long list of things that baffle me about that child.

Dumblond said...

Bugs freak me out too. Wanna see how fast a fat woman can move? Get a bee, wasp or hornet buzzing anywhere near me...like lightning!

frantically heidi said...

Bug lemonade, mmmm...
Just like mom used to make.

Sticky (not too) said...

Brilliant! I am of the generic "BEE!!!!" persuasion, as well. Ick.

I hear that all the time - "Mama, I have an idea..."

Misty said...

this is Genny to a t. exhausting isn't it ?

Otter Thomas said...

Motivation can do wonders. Instead of running like you stole something, you can run like a bee is chasing you.

Manic Mommy said...

Sounds EXACTLY like my boys;
blood curdling screams and all.

Over FLIES.

They also refuse to go down to our basement
playroom until I have surveyed the area for
possible child-eating spiders.

Elizabeth said...

Snorkie will play with pill bugs all day long but screams bloody murder if he SEES a GNAT!
oiy.

kisatrtle said...

That is too cute!

Elaine A. said...

Sensitive and smart. The women are gonna love 'em some day! ; )

Pretty pic by the way...

Karen said...

I'm also working with my 2 1/2 and 4 year old girls on the whole bug phobia. We are currently reading Charlotte's Web, and we watch a lot of Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends ... It's not working.

zelzee said...

Sounds just like my grandaughters. Their little feet don't touch the ground when they see any kind of bug. Yet, we are not allowed to kill them, according to Earth Child's children...........

So we just run around all the time and hide.

L Avery Brown said...

Oh my gosh...that is SO funny! Bug/Bee-o-phobia runs deep in my family. Once my sister got so freaked out when a bee got in her car that she stopped in the middle of a major roadway and got out of her car. She refused to get back in until a state trooper had not only killed the bee but had removed it's body from the back of her vehicle!

AudreyO said...

My older daughter was stung once. We had a swarm of bees and I was lazy in calling the exterminator. She got stung. Now...she'll run the other way if/when she sees a bee.

Happy Campers said...

They had better find one bitchin' woman to marry...can you imagine BlogSteadman screaming from the kitchen because there's a fly on the ceiling? ahahahahahahaha

Eddo said...

hilarious! we were raised in the wilderness practically and while i cry in grey's anatomy, i am not afraid of bugs, snakes, scorpions - I am mildly afraid of tarantula's as they were always around as kid and they are so huge and they can really jump!

Karly said...

I want your field of flowers, but you can keep all the bugs/bees/insects. I have to side with your children on this one. Bugs top the list.

Screwed Up Texan said...

If it was a really big hairy bumblebee looking insect, it could have been a carpenter bee. Love those things as they are so beautiful to look at.

On another note, some ants taste like lemons so you really could have made a "bug lemonade." On another note, that is probably not a great idea.

Ewww.

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